Ethical Real Estate Agent Recruiting: How to Recruit Without Trashing Their Broker

An agent you want to recruit says it out loud on the first call: "My broker is a nightmare."

You know what comes next. You have the stories. You could add three of your own, and the temptation to lean in and agree is huge.

Don't.

Ethical real estate agent recruiting starts with one rule. You never make your team look good by making her broker look bad. It is the right thing to do. It is also the better recruiting strategy, and most team leaders get that part backwards.

I am Blake Suddath, a real estate recruiter and recruiting coach and the co-founder of Inner Cirql Recruiting Systems with Tyler Lewis. We help team leaders and broker owners recruit experienced agents. This post covers why trashing the other broker backfires, what to ask and say instead and the rules that keep you on the right side of the Code of Ethics.

Why Trashing Her Broker Backfires

Three things happen the moment you start criticizing the company she works for.

She defends her own decision. She chose that broker. Maybe years ago, maybe for good reasons. When you attack it, you are not attacking a company. You are telling her she made a bad call. She may complain about her broker all day, but she will not let you do it for her.

She hears what you will say about her. Everything you say about the last broker is a preview of what you will say about her when she leaves you. She is a smart agent. She does the math. Here is the filter I use for who I want to work with: "If you're a jerk, I don't want to work with you. I don't care if you sell a thousand homes. Or you run a hundred person team." Agents run a filter too, and a leader who runs other people down to close a recruit fails it fast.

You might be wrong, and it follows you. You only know one side of her broker, and it came from her, a rival or the rumor mill. Repeat something that turns out to be false and you have a problem that the National Association of REALTORS Code of Ethics speaks to directly in Article 15, which covers false or misleading statements about other real estate professionals, their businesses and their business practices. Markets are small. The broker you ran down has friends, and so does the agent you recruited.

It also costs you referrals. In 2025, 78 of the 115 agents we hired were referred by producing agents I had already recruited. An agent only sends a friend to a leader she trusts to treat that friend well, including on the way out of the old office. How that engine got built is in why referrals became our best recruiting source.

And the competition for her is real. According to Delta Media Group's 2026 Real Estate Leadership Report, covered by HousingWire and Real Estate News, recruiting top agents is a challenge for 63% of brokerage leaders. When every leader is chasing the same agents, the one who does not run anybody down stands out.

Let Her Say It. Then Ask What She Wants.

When she complains, your best move is to say less. Ask a question, then listen.

An agent who is thinking about leaving already knows what is wrong. She does not need you to confirm it. She needs somebody to ask what she wants instead. Questions like these work: What would you change about how your business runs today? What are you trying to build over the next year or two? What would the right team do for you that you are not getting now?

Notice that none of them mention her broker. They are about her. That is also how I screen. I listen for whether she wants to grow, because "They've got to want to grow." How to run the whole first meeting is in the first real estate recruiting appointment.

When she does vent, a neutral reply keeps you out of the mud. That sounds frustrating. What have you tried so far? Or What would need to be true for it to feel right? You are not agreeing and you are not defending her broker. You are steering back to what she wants.

If she asks you straight out what you think of her broker, be honest and be short. I don't know their business well enough to say. I can show you how we do things and you can decide. Then do exactly that. More wording that works is in recruiting scripts that don't sound like recruiting.

Compete on What You Are, Not on What They Are Not

Take the criticism away and what is left to say? Everything that matters.

I made a point on a call with team leaders in September, after walking through everything we offer: "We do have a lot of very cool things and stuff… That is not the value proposition. You are the value proposition." The other broker's flaws are not your value proposition either. Your value proposition is the room you run, the people in it and how you treat agents. So make that visible instead of making the other company look worse.

Invite her to see it. The thing that worked best for me was an invitation, in my own words: "the most success I had, for some reason, was Tuesday at 11am, and inviting people to that to go, hey, just come sit in the back, I'll save you a seat in the back, be a fly on the wall, you know?" I was clear that it is not a rule: "I'm not saying, like, it's my way or the highway, I'm just sharing." An invitation lets her judge your team with her own eyes. That beats any comparison you could hand her, and it asks nothing about her old office.

Agents move toward people. I put it this way on that same call: "Human beings leave other human beings. To be led. By other human beings." If the person she is looking at talks about her old colleagues with respect, that tells her how she will be spoken about.

I also know what it is like to be on the other side of a move. A brokerage I helped build was moving to eXp, and I fought it. "I was a 225-pound anchor that didn't want to go to eXp." Moving is hard, even when the reasons are good, and plenty of the agents you talk to feel real loyalty to where they are. Trash talk asks them to disown their own history. Clear information about your team lets them decide at their own speed.

The same goes for the big names. If she is weighing a revenue share company against your team, the right answer is still to explain what you are, not to attack the other model. I wrote about that in recruiting against revenue share brokerages.

Rules That Keep You on the Right Side

Say only what you know to be true. If you cannot back a claim about another company with a public fact, leave it out. Not every agent is a REALTOR, but the Article 15 standard is a good one for everybody.

Stay out of her clients' contracts. Article 16 of the Code of Ethics says REALTORS should not take any action inconsistent with the exclusive representation or exclusive brokerage agreements that other REALTORS have with their clients. When an agent has active listings, what happens to them is a conversation among her, her clients and the brokerages. Do not promise that her listings will move and do not contact her clients yourself. The practical side is covered in recruiting agents who already have listings.

Do not ask her to bring anything that is not hers. Confidential files, lead lists and rosters that belong to her old broker stay there.

Check the paperwork. Independent contractor agreements, non-solicitation clauses and state rules vary, and some bind agents after they leave. Have your own attorney look at how they apply to your market before you recruit there. I am a recruiter, not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice.

Let her leave well. She tells her broker herself, finishes what she owes and goes out on good terms. An agent who burns a bridge on the way out of one office may do the same on the way out of yours. And if she says no, say thank you and follow up in 90 days and again in a year. Her situation changes. A leader who stayed classy is the one she remembers.

Where AI and Systems Fit

AI is useful for keeping your own story straight. It is dangerous when you let it write about other companies.

Use AI to turn what you offer into a clear one page summary, then edit it until it sounds like you. Never ask it to write claims about another brokerage. AI makes things up, and a made up claim about a competitor is exactly what Article 15 warns about. If you want a comparison, build it from public facts about your own team and let the agent fill in the other column.

The CRM does more of the work. Record what she said she wants in her own words and the next step you agreed on. Write every note as if she could read it. Tag where the relationship started, set the follow up for 90 days and a year and let the system remind you so a polite no does not turn into silence. The tools are covered in recruiting software for real estate teams, and the pipeline behind it is part of the Territory Takeover System Tyler and I install for team leaders. How the recruiting side works is on the recruiting page.

If you want to see the same decision from her side, we wrote an agent-facing guide on the Inner Cirql blog about how to switch real estate brokerages. The neutral, data version of this post is the reference page How Do You Recruit an Agent Without Badmouthing Their Brokerage?, and how to approach agents in the first place is on What Should You Say When Recruiting a Real Estate Agent?

The Bottom Line

Ethical real estate agent recruiting is not a handicap. It is the better pitch. You never need her broker to look bad, because you are not selling against her broker. You are showing her what it is like to be around you.

Ask what she wants. Say less than you want to. Invite her to see the room. Stay out of her clients' contracts, say only what is true and let her leave well. The leader who does that is the one agents remember and refer their friends to.

If you want a second set of eyes on how your team handles that first conversation, start with one call. Schedule Your Call.

FAQ

Ethical real estate agent recruiting is recruiting an agent on the strength of what your team offers, without disparaging her current broker, making claims you cannot support or interfering with her clients' contracts. In practice that means asking about her goals, saying only what you know to be true and letting her leave on good terms. It also protects your reputation in the market, which matters because recruiting top agents is a challenge for 63% of brokerage leaders, according to Delta Media Group's 2026 Real Estate Leadership Report as covered by HousingWire and Real Estate News. Agents talk, and the leader who treats everyone well tends to be the one they talk about.

No, it is not a good idea, and it can cross an ethics line. Article 15 of the NAR Code of Ethics says REALTORS may not knowingly or recklessly make false or misleading statements about other real estate professionals, their businesses or their business practices. Even when the criticism is true, it makes her defend her own decision and tells her what you will say about her one day. If she raises a problem herself, listen, ask what she wants instead and keep the conversation on what you can offer.

Say something neutral and curious, such as 'That sounds frustrating. What have you tried so far?' or 'What would need to be true for it to feel right?' Do not agree, add your own stories or defend her broker either. The goal is to turn the conversation from what is wrong toward what she wants to build, because the second topic is the one that tells you whether your team is a fit. If she asks what you think of her broker, say you do not know their business well enough to judge and offer to show her how your team works.

It applies if you are a REALTOR, and it is a sound standard even if you are not. Article 15 covers false or misleading statements about other real estate professionals and their businesses. Article 16 covers practices that are inconsistent with exclusive representation or exclusive brokerage agreements that other REALTORS have with their clients. NAR's Code also says Article 16 is not meant to prohibit aggressive or innovative business practices that are otherwise ethical. Check the current text on nar.realtor and ask your own attorney how it and your state's rules apply to your recruiting.

Yes, you can recruit her, but you should not interfere with the listing agreements she and her clients have with her current brokerage. What happens to a listing when an agent moves depends on the listing agreement, the brokerage's policies and the client's wishes, so it is a conversation among the agent, the client and the brokerages. Do not promise a recruit that her listings will move, and do not contact her clients yourself. Our guide to recruiting agents who already have listings covers how to talk about the practical side without overstepping.

Compete on what you are, not on what the other brokerage is not. Show the agent your weekly meeting, introduce her to your agents and explain how you coach, then let her compare. A team leader's value proposition is the leader, the people and the room, which no large company can copy, so there is nothing to gain from running the other company down. If she wants a side by side comparison, build one from public facts about your own offer and let her fill in the other column.